Yesterday, a friend of mine shared a tweet with me. And it started off a discussion/argument about feminism. I’ve discussed this topic with a few male friends/acquaintances of mine and sometimes I’m still surprised when it reveals a lot about how many young Nigerian men view feminism.
Child of chimamanda on social media but you still boil water for your dad to bath. Pls wyd?
— Onyekachi (@Roitrills) May 14, 2018
Here’s a conversation I’ve had with a few young men concerning feminism with arguments on two sides; my view as a feminist and the view of a Male, Nigerian Anti-feminist (MNA).
MNA: Women should be submissive to men. A man should be the head.
MNA: Because that’s how it should be and has always been.
Me: First of all, because things have been done one way in the past, doesn’t mean that’s the way it should be now. If we follow this rule, we will still have black slaves in America, we will still be sacrificing twins in Nigeria.
MNA: It’s in a man’s DNA to be fueled with power. A woman taking that from him is like cutting his balls.
Me: A woman is not taking anything from a man by being equals.
MNA: Women can have an opinion in their homes but should reserve the important decision for the man. A woman sharing responsibility in the home will allow too much freedom, which will cause the woman to behave as she wants.
Me: Firstly, because a woman contributes to the home or is the bread winner doesn’t make you under her. Secondly, we’re talking about a whole human being here. Why should a woman only be entitled to opinions when it comes to her life? If she wants to pursue a career or further her education, why should it be up to her husband? If her husband wants to uproot the family and move abroad, why can’t she have a say in the decision? So it all boils down to men’s insecurities then? If women are too free, you can’t control them. But my question is, why would you want to control another human being?
MNA: Women shouldn’t have too much freedom, I insist. That’s how she will say “I’m going to the club, please take care of the baby”
Me: And how is that too much to ask? What if a man says “I’m going to the club, take care of the baby”, is that allowed?
MNA: Yes, because he isn’t breastfeeding the baby.
Me: How do you think babies whose mothers die at childbirth survive? There’s something called baby food. Also, breast-milk can be pumped and stored. If a mother want’s a night out with her friends and wants the husband to watch the baby, it is totally possible.
MNA: Feminists makes too much demands on men. They are clueless.
Me: Not everyone you see on Twitter who claims to be a feminist understands what feminism is all about. If you’re going to be against something, at least take the time to understand what it is really about. Don’t judge based on some tweets you’ve seen online and say feminism is clueless.
What is Feminism?
1. The advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes
2. The theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
3. The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities
4. The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men
A lot of young people out there view feminism as the enemy. A threat to their way of life and to the men, a form of emasculation. If you give women power, then what do they have? Our society is based on male power and control and the more we start to create conversations and educate people, the better for us.
Women’s lives belong to women and women should make decisions about their own lives, married or not. Women should be given the power of choice to rule their own lives. Some women want to be submissive and some women want to have a say in their lives and relationships. Some have no clue what they want because they’ve been raised to only want what the man wants. Women are humans just like men.
Finally, I was rounding up this article and I decided to look up what other people have to say about why feminism is hated so much. I came across this article which I found really interesting. Enjoy, and don’t forget to leave your thoughts on this piece in the comments below. (Kindly note that any hateful comments will be deleted).