10 things you should never ask on a first date

10 Things You Should NEVER Ask on a First Date

10 things you should never ask on a first date

What’s the weirdest thing anyone has ever asked you on a date? For me it was earlier this year, I remember going out on a casual meetup and within 5 minutes, he hit me with “Are you a virgin?”

Now if someone had asked me this when I was 19 and in the University I probably wouldn’t have been too upset. But a grown ass man asking that a few minutes after we met? I found this totally unacceptable. He proceeded to ask me if I could cook. Then told me he is ready to ‘settle down’ and he’s just looking for a “Virgin wife who can cook and take care of him”. The nerve!

I simply smiled and said goodnight, and never picked his calls again. Women are not left out, a lot of women think it is okay to ask certain intrusive questions on the first date.

Getting to know the other person is very crucial while dating, however there are some things you simply cannot ask someone you just met, unless they willingly wish to divulge such information. The first date should include light conversation and banter about interests and surface knowledge. You simply can’t know the person fully, not on the first date and not on the 100th. So here are some of the worst questions to ask someone on the first date.

Ladies

Ladies these are some of the worst questions to ask a guy on the first date:

  1. How much do you earn: What this implies is that you’re materialistic, and no one likes a gold-digger. If you have any questions about earnings and finances wait until you’re dating exclusively and tread with care, as money issues are one of the most sensitive in a relationship. Better still, get him to talk about his work, then look up the industry standard for his job later. Sneaky but less offensive.
  2. Are you a wife-beater: A friend recently told me he was asked this on a date and I was shocked. If you have any previous violence or relationship issues, a first date is not the best place to bring that up. You’re basically letting the other person know your baggage right from the start which may be too much to handle or too much information on the first date.
  3. What are we: “We are nothing, but pencils in the hands of the creator” What do you think? Two people on a date, that’s what you are. There’s no need complicating things.
  4.  How long do you last in bed: Yes, women sometimes ask rude sexual questions and it’s equally as bad as when men do it.
  5. Sorry for interrupting, can you hold on while I take like 10 quick selfies and 15 pics of the food? For the gram, of course.

Men

Personally, I’ve noticed that some of the worst questions men ask on a date are usually centred about the sex life.

  1. Are you a virgin: Whether or not she’s a fargin is none of your business. Are you a ritualist looking for a young virgin to complete his atonement? What are you using the virginity for?
  2. Can you cook: If you want a good cook, hire one. If you want a good companion for life, get a wife. If the wife happens to know how to cook, good for you. Life is that simple. Asking if she can cook is bad enough, don’t make matters worse by asking what exactly she can or cannot cook. Or ask if she can actually pound yam instead of Poundo yam.
  3. Are we going to have sex later tonight: Because you paid for a meal, doesn’t mean you have the right to her body. Asking if you’re going to have sex is not only tactless but also tasteless and offensive. Ladies, always, always hold enough money to pay for your food when you go on a date. In cases like this all you need to do is pay for your meal and walk out.
  4. What’s your favourite sex position: Questions about your date’s sex life are strictly personal and off-limits. Ladies, this goes for you too. This includes questions like When was the last time you had sex, How many people have you been with? Also, their refusal to answer any of these ridiculous questions doesn’t prove their ‘guilt’.
  5. Will you marry me: Seriously. Don’t.

BONUS

Don’t ask anything that starts with no offense. They will most likely be offended. Keep it to yourself.

 

So when exactly can you ask either of these questions? It totally depends on you and the person in question. You can ask on subsequent dates or when it feels right, not forced. Sometimes you don’t even have to out-rightly ask some of these questions.

For instance if you ask a man “Are you a wife-beater?” he will most likely give a “No” answer. Instead you could ask him what he thinks about domestic violence or what she thinks about cheating in a relationship. You could bring up a scenario or show a video of a woman being rude who got slapped and beaten by a man, just to see his reaction. Then ask what he thinks. His answers will reveal his true nature. His answers might range from: “No matter what she does, a man should NEVER hit a woman” or “Some girls deserve to be slapped.” At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide from his/her answers if both of you will be a great fit or not.

What are the weirdest things anyone has ever asked you on a date? Have you ever been in a situation like mine? How did it happen? How did you handle it? I’ love to hear what you think, and also if you have any additional questions I’ll be happy to add them to the list above.

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